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(Monday, November 17, 2008-)
+11:59 PM]*
# Nice no more.-
I'm sorry I can't act; not everyone is born a freaking natural in front of the camera.
I'm sorry I'm so useless while you guys are all so brillliant; I'm human, you see, and I'm NOT you.
I'm sorry I look like I'm always standing by doing nothing while you guys take the camera and do all the work; it's just that I never have the chance to try to use the camera since you guys are always hogging it to yourselves.
(I wanted to be Director of Photography first, remember? Then you guys decide that I should be the Producer and left it at that; what's a producer to do when her production team is always saying, "I'll do this, I'll do that, and you, producer dear, can do the acting like a pro actress would or get out of our way" WHEN I'M FREAKING NOT A GOOD ACTRESS AND YOU KNOW IT?)
I'm sorry I'm always giving that -.- expression; I'm not like you guys, you see, I can't express myself well. WHY CAN'T YOU FREAKING UNDERSTAND THAT?I'm sorry you guys see me as a nice sweet girl who can be pushed around and still smile at you after that and say "it's okay", BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL AIN'T ONE.
You dare say "You are the only one who hasn't done anything at all" after I tried so hard? You DARE tell me that after I tried my best to sit down and rack my brains for ideas with all of you even though my darned brain is barely WORKING? YOU DARE SAY THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME?
IF YOU GUYS AREN'T MY TEAMMATES I WOULD HAVE KICKED YOUR ASSES THE MOMENT THIS PROJECT STARTED.
You guys think you're the only ones who can handle the camera? So much that you wouldn't give me a chance to do the shooting during the assignments? So much that I can only merely be an "actress" or nothing at all?
Sure, you guys are great at this and all, and compared to all of you I am indeed not as skilled. I admired and respected your skills. But you guys didn't see me the way I saw you, am I right? I will probably always be "inferior" in your eyes.
I'm on the verge of breaking down. Maybe I already did.
Since I'm not needed, and possibly only a hindrance to all of you, then I do believe that I can just disappear, right?
the story ends like this;
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